Dark and Bloody doesn’t believe the Nun photo is real, but it could be and that is a shame. D&B has a checkered history at TSA checkpoints. Here is the recap:
I flew out of Denver the day flights were restored following 9/11. I had a meeting cancelled because of 9/11 and insisted that the meeting be rescheduled the day flights were restored. There was no way I was going to let a bunch of scummy Muslim terrorists cower me. As you might imagine the security lines were long and the search was very through. I was inspected by a dark skinned woman who scanned me and required me to loosen my belt. No big deal. It would get better right?
A year or so later my family took a flight to Orlando. My youngest, apparently because of the spelling of her old family name, was selected for additional screening. When the screeners found that she was 12 years old an adult had to accompany her through the additional screening. So I did. The screeners just waived my daughter through and then gave me a wanding and sent me on my way.
Sometime after that I went to Toronto on business accompanied by a Canadian that worked for me. On the way back, my carry on was selected for additional screening. The person who came over to do the screening was wearing a hijab. I looked at her and the screener next to her and said, “I think I should be searching you.” My employee looked at me and said, “I will see you at the bar, maybe.” The screeners didn’t think my comment was funny. I did and do.
A couple years after that the family went to DC on a vacation. On the way back, I was selected for additional screening. While getting the wand I looked around (it was DC remember) and said to the screener, “This is crazy, all these Muslims working here and you are screening me.” He didn’t think it an appropriate comment; I said “Well when white, Catholic, middle aged guys traveling with their families blow up planes, then you should screen them.”
Yet a couple of years later the oldest and I were in O’Hare flying to St Louis. There were several long lines, yet next to us were two screening systems not in use while TSA guys were standing around talking. I overheard them and they were talking about football. I learned over the rope and said, “How about you guys stop talking about football, open up that station and start doing your job.” The smart aleck looking one said, “Sir, we are doing our job.” I said, “Great job, getting paid shooting the breeze while citizens have to stand in line.” He asked, “Do you want to miss your flight sir”? I said, “No, but I do want to see you doing your job.” He turned away. My daughter asked if I were crazy.
The next year the youngest and I were in Phoenix flying back to Denver. The line was incredibly long and slow. Again, for some reason, my carry on failed the screening. It was taken to another section for additional screening. Now this took a bit of time because, apparently, someone qualified to search the bag was not available. Again a couple of TSA folks were nearby gabbing. I walked over and said, would you come over right now and search my bag so we don’t miss our flight. They said they couldn’t do that. I said, well get someone or let me get on my way. I sent my daughter on to the gate and continued to wait. I finally picked up the bag and started walking off. I was immediately stopped and said, well then search the bag, I have a flight to catch and you are making me wait. Oh, the look I got was priceless, but they got someone and nothing was found. Yet, they wanted to send it through the x-ray again. So, I really started chewing on them, but they carried the bag to the x-ray and sent it through. Again nothing found.
Three years ago the family went to Israel. Heard the stories about Israeli airport security? It is true. On the way, I got completely searched and felt up. I asked for a woman to do it, but the guy said he couldn’t do that. On the way back it was a piece of cake. Open the luggage, answer a couple of questions and off we went. Oh, except that I mistakenly placed my defensive knife in my daughter’s carry on, but that is another story.
Recounting the few negative experiences out of hundreds of flight over nearly ten years makes clear this point: I was originally patient because I believed it would get better. Now, my patience with this process is completely gone because after 10 years we get more of the same stupid behavior. There is simply no way that I, and millions of other Americans, should not have been issued an ID which identifies us as zero risk. When the next white, Catholic, etc etc, guy blows up a plane, ok, I get it, but this system is completely insane. They are body scanning pilots now. Insane. Nuns are being screened by Muslims. Insane. Three year olds are being felt up. Insane. Planes are only blown up by Muslims, screen them until the next (first) three year blows up the plane. Insane.
Dark and Bloody’s wife is the most patient easy going person on the planet. (It will remain a secret why she married me. It certainly wasn’t because I am easy going.) Yet, she says, she will not submit to a body scan. Too invasive. Too much radiation. So I guess she will get a body search. I wonder what will happen to the TSA agent touches her very large breasts. I remember what happened to me the first time. I got most of the feeling back in that hand a couple days later.
Seriously, November 24th is the day to protest the TSA. Join in. Bring TSA to its knees maybe then this insanity will stop.
No comments:
Post a Comment