Mother

I’ve been meaning to tell a story about mother and the following is the first of many.  It is completely true with some names changed in order to slightly obscure who mother is talking to.  Of course, if you are from the D&B you can probably figure it out. 

I got up a little late at mother’s one morning.  I’d flown into Nashville late in the evening and after the drive apparently needed my sleep.  So when I rolled out of bed around 8 am I heard mother saying on the phone, “That’s right Flosie, that type of article would have never been published in Fred’s day and certainly not in Mr. Edwin’s day.  I don’t know what they are thinking putting something like that in the paper.” 

I wandered over to the kitchen and started fixing some hot water and listened, but at this point all I heard was, I agree, that’s right and ok. Then mother said, “The very idea of something like that. I think I will call Jim up and tell him what I think.”  My ears perked up at this.  “Well Flosie I think I will call Jim. I need to go and fix breakfast for D&B.  He is visiting and it is such a treat.”

“Mother,” I asked, “what were you and Flosie talking about?” 

“Oh, an article in the paper.  Do you want breakfast?” 

“Of course I want breakfast, but let me fix it.  What article in the paper?” 

Mother said, “Hold on, here it is.  See this article about two employees of the paper who lived together for three years and are just now getting married.“

 “Hmm,” said I, “what is wrong with that article?”

“Why writing about it as if it were perfectly normal and all of that.  They shouldn’t be celebrating that two employees lived together all that time without being married.  It isn’t right.” 

“Mother, things change you know, “I said. 

“Well, not as much as you might think, but anyway that doesn’t mean you should talk about them, much less write about them in the paper” said mother.

Changing the subject I said, “Ok. You know I think I will walk that trail down at the park a couple times today.  Two roundtrips is 7 miles and in this heat, that could be interesting.  Maybe I will go around 11am.” 

Mother said, “Well that will be great.  Want some prunes?” 

Now of course I wanted the prunes.  Doesn’t everyone have a couple at breakfast?  So we chatted and talked and eventually got father dressed and talked some more.  Then I went for my walk.

Temperature was 98+ while I was walking and I didn’t want to know what the heat index was, but I finished and while walking through the front door I heard, “What do you mean you won’t put me through to Jim?  This is Wilma and you know he will talk to me.” 

Mother was quiet for a few moments then said, “Well you just call his admin and tell her it is Wilma and that I want to talk with Jim about an article in the paper and…what did you say?  What do you mean you have instructions not to put people through?  What do you mean all you can do is take a message or put me in voice mail? What?  You’re joking! Ok, then you tell him to call me about this or I will call his brother at the station and talk to him about it.”  (Organizationally it seems that the brother at the station, David, is Jim’s boss. David was a fine high school ball player btw.)

“Mother, what are you doing”, I asked. 

“Just a minute, I need to call Flosie” So she did and that conversation went like this, “Flosie, well I called Jim and can you believe they wouldn’t put my call through?  I told the receptionist to just put me on hold and send someone up the stairs and tell him it was Wilma.  They wouldn’t do that. Can you believe that?”

Oh, goodness I thought, what has she done?   Mother and Flosie had a good chat and went on a bit about how things have changed. 

When she finished I asked, “Mother, were you calling Jim at the paper about that article?”

“Yes, I was and when I talk to him I am going to let him know what I think about the article and how they treat callers.  Why, when I was there if anyone wanted to talk to Fred or Mr. Edwin before him, they got to talk to him.  Many times I sat people down and talked to them before they saw the publisher and listened to what they had to say.  Sometimes they were satisfied telling me, but if they insisted they saw who they wanted to see and had their say.  I can’t believe I couldn’t talk to Jim.”

“Mother, things change. Security has changed. The pace of work has changed.  They don’t have one paper anymore, they have several dozen.  They have meetings all the time. There were a lot of people who call me and they have to wait until I can call them back.” 

“I understand things change, but that doesn’t mean it’s right,” said mother.

So we visited and I took dad out for a roll in the chair and then we had lunch.  Starnes’ BBQ probably, or maybe it was Lee’s.  I don’t remember. We visited the rest of day, chatted about the future, about the past and about relatives, both living and passed. 

Now least you think mother was being silly I need to explain something.  Certainly mother was unhappy that the paper, her employer for 35 years or so, published an article about a couple living in sin.  Fact is I agree with her that that type of behavior should not be in any way celebrated or promoted.  Printing it in the newspaper does, to some extent, promote it and lord knows there are enough problems in this world caused by premarital and extramarital sex and out of wedlock babies and so on. No, what ought to be promoted is when folks don’t live together before marriage and don’t have children before marriage. Ok, I will stop because it is beside the point.  Yet mother knows articles like this are published in other magazines and papers and talked about on TV, but what bothered her, I am certain, is that her paper, her employer of 35 plus years, a place she loved and took tremendous pride in, published that type of article.

Of course, it bothered her that she couldn’t talk to Jim when she called.  Not only did she remember when he was born, she remembered what a good man his father was, what a good man his grandfather was and to some extent she didn’t want him to fall short of them for any reason or in any way.  Even if that reason was a silly article that he almost certainly didn’t see before it was published.

Now set the cause of her concern aside and think about this.  At the time this happened, mother had been retired 15 years or so and yet she cared so much about her former employer and, yes, she cared so much for the publisher that she was spending all this time and energy trying to be heard and make a point.

What loyalty and passion from an employee, much less a retired employee.  Goodness, I think I have cared that much about some of my employers and co workers, but have I?  Have I had as much pride in my work as mother?  I think so, but after this I wonder. Yet, I am determined that going forward I will have it and know that I have that much pride.  I will make certain that I care that much. Oh, mother after all these years you still inspire me.  Thank you.

The next day I rolled father over to physical therapy and when I returned mother was on the phone.

“Yes, Jim I understand things change....  I also know that your father would not have published that type of article and your grandfather certainly wouldn’t and while I only meet your great grandfather only a couple of times, I am certain he… what Jim?...  I understand, but anytime someone wanted to talk to your father or grandfather about something in the paper, they walked right in and got to talk….  Now, I call in and can’t even talk to your admin…  Is that how customers are treated? What…yes, I understand… I just wanted you to know what I and some others think about this….  Ok, thank you for calling.  Bye.”

“Who was that mother?” 

“Oh, that was Jim.  He called me back.  He doesn’t agree, but at least he knows what I think.”

“Mother, he knew what you thought before he called.  That is why he called you back.  He wanted you to know he understands.”

“Well,” said mother, “just because things change, doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try to stop it.”

“You are right, mother. Not in this family anyway.  Mother, you are amazing.”